Opening the Door
There’s a moment before every meaningful change where things look the same on the outside, but everything is shifting on the inside.
You’re standing at a door.
Not a dramatic, movie‑trailer kind of door. Just a regular one. Closed. Familiar. Slightly scuffed from years of leaning on it. It’s probably stuck, so you don’t try opening it. You’re afraid to open the door. You know what’s on this side. You’ve arranged the furniture. You’ve learned how to live here. It’s not perfect, but it’s predictable.
And then comes the knock.
The Door Knocks First
You rarely decide to open the door out of nowhere. Life knocks first.
A redundancy. A health wobble. A relationship that quietly expires. A sense you want more. Long-standing negative self-talk that isn’t helping and is holding you back. A general feeling of not being good enough. The background noise of restlessness that won’t leave you alone, no matter how busy you keep yourself.
The knock isn’t rude. It’s persistent. Your instinct is to pretend you don’t hear it, because opening a door means admitting something wants to change. And change, even the good kind, asks for honesty, courage, and a willingness to change and stop telling yourself ‘comfortable’ half‑truths.
What we do Instead
Most of us don’t fling the door open with wild abandon. We do something far more human. We peek through the keyhole. We try the door, but we think it’s stuck, so we walk away again. We overthink. We gather evidence. We convince ourselves it can’t be opened. We make a pros‑and‑cons list so long it will need it’s own filing system. We ask everyone else what they think. We wait for certainty, permission, or a flashing neon sign that says, “Yes, this is safe.”
That sign rarely arrives.
So, we stay where we are. Not because it’s right, but because it’s known. It’s familiar and easier than change. We stay stuck.
And then we tell ourselves the stories. It’s not the right time. I need to be more confident first. I’ll do it when things settle down. I don’t have the time/money/energy to change. It’s too hard. I can’t change.
The Fear Behind the Handle
What we’re really afraid of isn’t what’s on the other side of the door. It’s who we’ll have to be to walk through it. It’s the actual change, and a lot of people fear change.
Opening a door means taking responsibility. Choice. Ownership. It means you can no longer say “I didn’t know.” It means stepping out of your comfort zone and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. It’s consistency. It’s practicing till it sticks.
If you’ve built your life around being capable, reliable, a procrastinator, a people pleaser, composed, actually admitting that you want something different can feel unsettling. Almost indulgent.
The truth is, if it isn’t serving you, let the old go. It is not actually helping you. Believing old stories and recreating old patterns holds you back. Most of us need a nudge before we can acknowledge we want change and start to take the steps to get there.
Wanting more or something different doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful, it means you’re realising something is out of alignment. It means you want to live more intentionally, and be inline with who you are.
You don’t have to Blow the Door off its Hinges
The reframe clients often embrace is that opening the door does not require certainty. It requires curiosity and a willingness to be honest and consistent.
You don’t need to sprint and dive through it. You don’t need a five‑year plan (that can come later). You don’t even need to like what you see straight away.
Sometimes opening the door simply means:
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Having an honest conversation with yourself
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Saying no where you’ve always said yes
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Letting yourself name what you actually want
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Giving yourself permission to feel and be different
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Allowing yourself to feel good enough
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Booking the coaching discovery call
That’s it. One hand on the handle. A small turn. A crack of light. Practice till it sticks.
What’s On the Other Side
People often ask, “What if it doesn’t work out?” Here’s the question we can ask instead “What if it does?”
What, if on the other side of that door, is more alignment, more ease, more truth? What if you stop living from habit and old stories and patterns, and start living from choice and curiosity and giving yourself permission to change?
Coaching, at its heart, is about helping people open doors that they have been avoiding for years. Not dragging them through. Not telling them which one to choose. Simply helping them see that the door was never locked in the first place. You’ve always had the key.
A Gentle Challenge
Consider:
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Where are you standing with your hand hovering, but not quite touching the handle?
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What door have you been calling ‘impossible’ when it’s really just unfamiliar?
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What door have you assumed is locked, without even trying to open it?
You don’t need to decide everything today. Try to stop pretending you don’t hear the knock.
Open the door. See who you become on the other side.
Imagine more. Be more.
If you need help opening the door, or know anyone who needs a nudge, then you can schedule a free call to figure out what door you are avoiding and how coaching could help you!
Laura is an ICF professional, certified life coach. She is passionate about helping people get unstuck & out of their own way. As a previous therapist, and now coach-for-life, Laura brings deep insight, experience and appreciation for people wanting to move forward with meaningful change. If you are looking for a coach to help you shine in the world, then reach out for a free discovery call, to see how coaching with Laura could help you. Rooted in therapy, powered by coaching, focused on you!
https://calendly.com/laurahaywoodcoaching/discovery-call
https://www.laurahaywoodcoaching.co.uk
To learn more, visit us on:
Life Coaching Services | Laura Haywood Coaching Nottinghamshire UK
https://www.laurahaywoodcoaching.co.uk/
Nottingham – England, United Kingdom
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